The Truth Behind the Mask

From an early age, I remember making the conscious decision to hide myself from the rest of the world. In elementary school, I remember feeling judged by the people around me and knew that was something I never wanted to feel again. For 20 years I would be a different Hilary with one set of friends than I was with another, which was also different than the Hilary I showed at home. I hid my true feelings of depression, anger, guilt, shame, and hatred because I thought people would like me more if I was exactly who they wanted me to be.

This constant juggling of Hilarys became my life. It took me until I was 22 to tell my parents how depressed I truly was. It took another year to tell my dad that I had tried to kill myself. After three years, it was all out in the open. My family, and some friends, knew everything. They knew I had been assaulted at 18, and had an eating disorder since 13, knew I was bipolar and severely depressed, and knew just how much I truly hated myself. It still isn’t something we ever talk about, and it is still something I tend to hide.

In my short 27 years of life, I’ve noticed just how many people hide some aspect of themselves, for a plethora of reasons. Some hide out of shame, some hide because they are afraid of what will happen when they share. Others hide because society has taught them they need to be “normal” in order to succeed. What are you hiding from the world?

What would really happen if you showed whom you are inside? My goal is to make the audience think about what they are hiding from the world, or even hiding from themselves.